I’ve rejoined the wubbulous world of Facebook.
Over 2 years ago I decided one day that I was sick & tired of people always complaining about the same things, the ridiculous abused children/animals posts, the in-your-face religious memes…just all of it. So I quit. Cold turkey. Which is surprising for me because I have an “addictive” personality & can’t even quit cigarettes cold turkey.
I guess I was just bored & looking for something to do. Usually I’ll play Pet Rescue but when you’re stuck on a level & already in a worried/depressed mood, it isn’t very helpful to take your mind off of things…it’s downright aggravating. It took me a few lots of tries to remember my password but eventually I did. I have to admit, I did miss it somewhat…being connected in some way with people I know & the world in general; I missed seeing the cute/awesome/so true memes; I missed seeing people’s pictures. And I’m already instantaneously re-addicted. It is such a time passer! I feel a little like an idiot liking & commenting on posts & pictures that people probably haven’t thought about it months, but I’m playing catch-up so I guess it’s alright.
Reconnecting with people & extended family has been nice, though. It has made me feel a little less lost, a little less alone (and by alone I mean the 5 of us as a family kind of being on our own, feeling disconnected from family). Of course it sucks when I finally pull myself away & my reality comes back smacking me in the face. And it sucks to see other people’s lives so successful, complete, happy…normal. Not that I begrudge them that, no no no; it just hammers home how upside down my life is right now, which really gets to me if I let it.
I’d like to link my blog to my profile, but lately all I can seem to write about are my troubles (because they’re the main focus right now) & I don’t particularly want all of Facebook knowing all of this. I’m not one of those fakey-fakers who is all “Oh my life is so perfect, I’m so wonderful, ain’t everything great!”; I think there is a difference between purposely portraying something (like an ideal version of your life) & choosing not to actively disclose details. Of the people who have asked “How are you?” I’ve answered them honestly with “Okay” (because technically I am okay…we’re all alive & healthy) & haven’t elaborated with lies or the truth. So, until things work out, I don’t feel comfy linking the two. It’s embarrassing, depressing, unnecessary.
Aside from that, we’re in limbo. Well I don’t guess it’s “we’re” since the kids are unaware of “the housing situation” but all the same…it’s very awkward having an elephant in the room. Despite the fact that all 3 of us are adults & hubs & I are perfectly okay with “adult talks”, it’s hard to know what the right thing to do is…if we should approach him or wait until he approaches us. We have some progress & possible developments in the wings however they require a little time before (hopefully–fingers crossed!) coming full circle. If he’d be willing to work with us & allow us a little more time, I truly feel–with valid reasons–like we’re on the brink of being able to start repairing this mess. Really.
All we need is just a little time.
Meanwhile, take a minute & be grateful for what you do have. If it’s a secure place to lay your head at night…if it’s a best friend to help absorb your troubles…if it’s a fresh taco & glass of homemade lemonade on a hot day…if it’s the ability to go watch fireworks on the 4th…whatever it is, recognize it & be grateful for it.
All of it.
live. laugh. love. 