Monthly Archives: April 2014

What’s in a name?

I’m such a scatter-brain. I’ve been working on a different post off & on all day (a bitch-fest, as per my usual!) but can’t seem to find my way to the end, so I thought I’d take a break, try a totally different (happier) subject, & use the 40 minutes I have before the rugrats get home.

I’ve noticed lately that A–our youngest & only boy–refers to C & I as “my Dad” or “my Mom” when talking with/to his friends. I find it bittersweet…it’s cute that he’s so ‘mature’ now that he’s the big 6 & doesn’t want to say “mommy” & “daddy” anymore……but it also makes me sad, of course. It’s the same feeling as the other firsts: first day of school, first lost tooth, etc. You automatically want the best for your kids, which in turn means you want them to grow up (not much choice anyway–haha) intelligent & beautiful & to be a good person…but sometimes those little signs of growing up can make ya a lil misty-eyed.

Granted, he still calls me “Mommy” when addressing me/another family member and it’s the same for C and “Daddy”, so I’m glad of that at least. The girls dropped the Y’s a while ago, I knew it would only be a matter of time once A went into school too. Understandable; no one wants to be the “loser” Friend who refers to their parents in a baby-ish way. They still do the Y version at home but I can tell they do it for our benefit. The other night D was telling a story & started to say “Dad” but then stretched it into “Daddy”.

So the question becomes…do you just sit back & let nature take it’s course, let them banish the Y’s for good when they decide to?
…or…
Do you put a spotlight on it by telling them it’s okay to drop the Y’s if they want (if you can bring yourself to do it!)?

I’m always fretting over things just like this & it’s partly because I have no one to turn to and ask. My mom is gone & that left a huge hole in my entire life…she was always the one I’d turn to for anything. I don’t talk with my Aunt (Mom’s sister) as much as I used to because I hate being on the phone (can’t hear, too chaotic) & she won’t email with me because she doesn’t like to type (despite the fact that she’s literally on Facebook alllllll day playing games…); anyway…I don’t want to make this post all sad & dreary, I was just clarifying part of why I’m so…indecisive? Unsure of what decision would be best? I like to see as many sides (or opinions) as possible when faced with a decision–no matter how small–because I just like to know the whole of it. You know? I believe some may call that anal….

I don’t remember any sort of conversation with either of my parents about what I called them; I’ve always used “Dad” & “Mom”, and I’m sure probably the Y versions as a baby although I don’t remember it. I also don’t remember my own transition…in ninth grade a passing fad was to call your mom “Mommy” but I didn’t participate long because it felt weird, like I was trying to be something I wasn’t. Sometimes I wish I could’ve used “Mama” off & on (that’s what she called her mom) because I think it’s cutesy & country; and I did occasionally but it never stuck, never became the name.

So…to say something or to not say something…that is the question. I want them to be comfortable, not inadvertently pushed into using a name/names they don’t feel fit anymore simply because they know we like it.

I know, I know………….I’m a basket case. 😉