Tag Archives: southern

Effin’ eBay.

EBay, eBay, eBay…sigh…

I used to enjoy it so much. I got into it at the beginning of it just starting to become popular & well known. I’ve seen all kinds of changes-some good & some not so good-over the years & I have lots of complaints (hey, we all know I’m a Negative Nelly) but I believe my two chief gripes would be
      *asshole sellers who either peddle their wares for quadruple what it’s worth or charge buyers exorbitant (yes, exorbitant) shipping & handling charges
      *rudeness. From sellers, from buyers, from potential buyers…I can NOT STAND rudeness, especially unwarranted rudeness.

      Allow me to explain….

I get bored so I often pop open my eBay app & search for random things. Lately I’ve rekindled my obsession with Marilyn Monroe (by reading a biography) so I figured I’d check out the Marilyn market on good ‘ole eBay. Long story short, I was appalled that there are people out there selling cheap crap with her name/image splashed across it, and let me tell you they’re not selling it cheap.

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Like this. What the hell?!

Now I’m not an art expert, so I will gladly eat crow if the person responsible for this is in fact a famous Andy-Warhol-level artist….but I’ve never heard of her. This auction is so ridiculous I almost feel like it’s a joke. And, just so you can experience the full scope of this person’s ridiculousness, here is the link to her entertaining description.

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Greed at it's finest.

I just have to laugh. My fingers itch to type out a smart assed email to these idiots. First off, let me share with you the fact that (surprise, surprise) this auction has NO bids. 0. Zero. Next, let me confirm for you that I own one of these (I’m on it now) & I paid $150 brand new, at Wal-Mart. This is just some greedy, useless scam artist…they actually hoped to find some poor sucker that would eagerly pay almost $300! But, you do get free shipping so it is kind of a good deal. *eye roll*

I realize I’m getting really long winded with this post so I’ll try to shorten it up. I don’t get the whole rudeness thing, on eBay or in real life, either one. Plenty of people have called me a bitch over the years, plenty of people have said I look grouchy/am grouchy however until you give me a reason not to be nice, I’m a nice person. Especially if you’re a stranger. I guess maybe I’m old fashioned but almost all of my emails begin with “Hello” (you know, like correspondence always used to?), end with “Thank you”, etc. I’m certainly not claiming to be perfect (although I pretty much am) but I was raised with manners & I use them, as well as pass them down to my kids. I received an email from a buyer complaining about not having received their item yet & they also opened a case against me (an eBay case, where you get a negative mark on your rating if eBay decides against you), all in the same 10 minutes. Maybe I was just in a foul mood but I felt like they could’ve been a little more decent & congenial about it…at least until they found out why it was late, ya know? Another long story short, it pissed me off so I immediately refunded their money along with an email stating my reasons (no way to the post office, no box to ship it in/waiting on USPS to bring more boxes, no internet access temporarily…if you must know), and the advice that maybe in the future they could try being a little nicer to people, at least until they heard back from them, as opposed to jumping to conclusions (like I took their $27 & had a spending spree with no intention to send them the item…for their information-and I told them this as well-that whopping $27 was on hold & inaccessible to me until 1/31/14 because I’m a new seller. So there, rude asshole.); I also shared one of my all time favorite southern sayings with them: You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.

PS: I can’t help feeling that I got wayyy off topic….didn’t justify my points very well….and am probably in the wrong on that whole eBay-Paypal-late item thing….but, oh well.

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Classic Southern Lemonade (Is there any other kind worth drinking?!)

Every summer for the past couple years my husband & I have turned into lemonade fanatics.  I guess we just got to craving it one year & found an awesome recipe & became obsessed with drinking it.  It was (/is) such a nice, refreshing change from soda during hot weather.

When I went to retrieve my super amazing recipe today *gasp* it was gone!  Considering how unorganized I am this is really no surprise.  And you’d think I’d have a mental back up handy but I’ve been blessed with the worst memory ever.  Luckily God (or maybe El Diablo) provided us with the internet & I’ve found a recipe that calls for the same ingredients but is prepared slightly different & offers a couple handy tips that I never knew (like rolling the lemons to loosen the juices…perfect sense, right??).  I’ve posted their recipe below & to avoid looking like a total internet recipe thief you can find the original site HERE.

Old Fashioned Classic Lemonade
Yield: 6 servings
Prep Time: 10 minutesCook Time: 10 minutesTotal Time: 20 minutes

I like to chill this in the refrigerator for a few hours or overnight before serving.

INGREDIENTS:
6 lemons – 1 cup of freshly squeezed lemon juice
6 cups water
1 cup sugar

DIRECTIONS:
Pressing down with your hand, roll the lemons back and forth on a hard surface to release their juices. Cut lemons in two and squeeze out juice reserving the lemon rinds and place the rinds in a large bowl. You can strain the juice if you like to remove the pulp, or leave the pulp if you prefer.

Boil 4 cups of water.

Place the sugar in a bowl and cover with 1 cup water and stir to dissolve.

Cover the lemon rinds with the other 3 cups of boiling water and let this sit for about an hour and you will have lemon infused water, discard the rinds.

In a large pitcher, combine the lemon juice, the dissolved sugar water, the 3 cups of lemon infused water and the remaining 2 cups of water.

Garnish with mint and lemon slices if you like.

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Their picture, used without permission but hopefully they won't mind since I'm promoting their recipe. 🙂

If you make it let me know what you think! As for me, I’m going lemon shopping tomorrow.

**Updated** Tastes like home in my mouth. And it will yours too.

Some of my tried & true recipes have been passed down from my mom’s side of the family.  Things like potato salad, sausage gravy, green beans, chicken & dumplings.  Since my paw-paw (whom they originated from), nanny, & mom are all gone now these recipes have become even more sacred to me and I’ve made a point of keeping them in rotation so my kids will grow up remembering them.  Hey, I’m kinda crazy when it comes to food okay?

So the other day I saw 2 different pins (on Pinterest, just in case you’ve been under a rock for the past year) but I believe they’re the same link/recipe.  One says something about “crock pot chicken & dumplings”, one says something about “cracker barrel chicken & dumplings”.  It looks like the same picture on both so I said what the hell & went with the crock pot one.  However my subconscious likes to stress me out so I didn’t get the urge to make it until it was too late to do in the crock pot.  Of course.  So I put my big cook panties on & decided I’d try to convert it to a stove top recipe.  The entire time I was expecting failure.  Seriously…the whole time.  And then they get done & with the first bite I knew that it would be my new go-to chicken & dumplings recipe.  I felt a twinge of guilt towards my “family tradition” but I can’t help it…these fuckers are goooooood.  They taste like home in my mouth.  So despite the fact that I’ve already posted like 65,000 blogs today, I wanted to make a post about this one before I forgot all the steps I had to convert & tinker with.  I am one of those cooks who does “pinches” & “dashes” so I’m gonna attempt to be as clear & understandable as possible but if I cause confusion please leave a comment & I’ll try to clarify.  Obviously I’m not a raging popular blog so I’ll have plenty of time to answer you.  Now, whaddya waitin’ for–get to cookin’!!

PS: all of the pics are at the end; I didn’t want to confuse things even more by interjecting photos everywhere!

Delicious Home Tasting Chicken & Dumplings from Pinterest or Cracker Barrel but who really cares because they’re so damn good

First, the HOMEMADE CREAM OF CHICKEN SOUP.
You will need:
4 T. Butter
4 T. Flour
2 c. Liquid (broth, milk, water)

Throw all your butter into a saucepan or skillet over med-high heat; melt completely. Toss all the flour in then stir with a whisk to combine with the butter. It should end up resembling a pliable, soft, play-doh like mixture. Let this cook for a couple of minutes then begin to add your liquid. Now: this is the part that requires patience & concentration. You must add the liquid a little at a time. What type of liquid you add is up to you; the first time I made this I was low on milk so I did half milk/half water; the next time I did 3/4 chicken broth/1/4 milk. It’s totally up to you, just make sure it’s 2 cups. Anyway…I always add just a splash of liquid at first then whisk everything together; as you’re adding the liquid the “play-doh” is soaking it up & expanding. Splash, whisk, splash, whisk…you get the idea. Once your mess mixture starts to resemble a soupy liquid it’s generally pretty safe to dump the rest of your liquid in, whisk & cook for a few minutes. Variations on this are easy too: for cream of celery just toss some finely chopped celery in with your melting butter; for cream of mushroom add finely chopped mushroom to your butter; for a stronger chicken taste sprinkle some chicken bouillon in. You just made homemade cream of chicken soup-take that, Campbell’s!!

Alrighty…once you’ve made the soup just set it aside. If you’re more organized than myself, you could actually do this next step before making the soup but…eh, whatever.

The Chicken
You will need:
2-4 lbs. Boneless, skinless chicken
(You can use any type you want, I prefer breast because you don’t have to trim the fat; also a little chicken goes a loooong way in this recipe so if you don’t have much that’s a-okay)
2 T. Butter
2 c. Cream of Chicken soup (what you just made)
1 c. Chicken broth
1 onion, diced

What you do:
Place the chicken in a pot, cover with water, dump some salt in & bring to a boil. You can move on to other tasks while the chicken is boiling but don’t forget about it…you don’t want it to start falling apart. Thoroughly cook the chicken, reserve the water (which is now homemade chicken broth!), and place the chicken aside. In another large pot combine over medium heat the 2 cups of soup you made earlier, 1 cup of chicken broth (yes that’s right: get it from the reserved “boiling” water!), the onions & butter. Whisk all ingredients until thoroughly blended, then add the chicken pieces. Cook this mixture-stirring occasionally-for about 20 minutes/while preparing dumplings to blend flavors.

The Dumplings
You have 2 options here: use Bisquick, or follow the recipe listed below. You could also cut up refrigerator biscuits if you’re crunched for time or just lazy as hell. I promise you that rolling out dough is SO SO worth it & really doesn’t take long at all. You can absolutely taste the difference over fridge biscuits & you will be super glad you took the time to do it. If you opt for Bisquick they always have their biscuit recipe on the box, just follow it & jump back in here for the rolling part. If you’re going the distance for your dough you’ll need this recipe:

You will need:
2 c. Flour
3 t. Baking powder
2 T. Sugar
1 t. Salt
1/3 c. Oil (veggie, canola)
2/3 c. Milk

What you do:
Mix all the dry ingredients together. Measure out oil & milk in separate measuring cups, then gently add milk to oil. DO NOT STIR. Add oily-milk to the bowl of dry ingredients; using your hands gently mix together. Try to get it mixed up thoroughly yet in as few moves as possible. I know this is confusing but the more dough is handled the tougher it gets. After mixing pat into a giant ball; I usually stick mine in the freezer for a few minutes just to firm it up a bit. Now for the rolling:
-Sprinkle some flour on a clean, flat surface (ie: your kitchen table).
-Place your dough ball on top then knead a couple of times, sprinkling a tiny bit of flour as needed if it has stickiness.
-Sprinkle a tiny bit of flour (this should be abbreviated to S.T.B.F., lol!) over your rolling pin & start rolling out your dough. Make it as thick or as thin as you want (mainly because I never measured my dough thickness, I just always eyeball it) but keep in mind the dough will puff up once it becomes a dumpling. In other words you don’t want dumplings the same thickness as a porterhouse. Or maybe you do. Again, your call.
-Use a pizza cutter (genius, right?!) to cut horizontal & vertical lines, forming little rectangles. Or, if you’re feeling adventurous, you can use a small cookie cutter like I did last time (a little star!). Or, you can make small strips. Your preference.
-Gather up your uncooked dumplings & place on a plate; repeat these steps until all of your dough is used.

The Final Result
Finally, you’re at the finish line! Increase the heat on the chicken/soup mixture to medium-high; remove the chicken pieces. While you’re waiting on the soup to get a little hotter shred all of your chicken & set aside. Some recipes call for you to put it back in the pot but this is my recipe & I say set it aside because it’s easier to cook your dumplings. You should be seeing the occasional heat bubble in your soup pot; when this happens start adding your dumplings one by one all around inside the pot. After you add a whole “layer” of them wait a minute then stir gently to make sure they’re not sticking. Cook for a few minutes until they’re puffed up, probably 5-6 minutes. You probably don’t have any free space to add more dumplings so remove the cooked ones (I always just dump them in with my shredded chicken) with a slotted spoon, then repeat the process until all dumplings have been cooked. Finally, gently re-add all the dumplings & chicken, stir to mix it all in with the soup, and let it cook a few minutes so the mouth watering yumminess can blend together. To be fancy like me you can sprinkle some parsley on top after dishing into serving bowls.

And wah-la, you have the best chicken & dumplings ever. After you come down from your chicken & dumpling euphoria, let me know what you think! Oh, and you’re welcome. 😉

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Fancy C&D with rectangles dumplings & parsley.
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Homemade cream of chicken soup.
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Shredded chicken.
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Dumplings as they're cooking.
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Cutesy star dumplings! They were the perfect thickness too.