Tag Archives: school

It’s true…I’m totally jealous of my children’s snow days!

When I was growing up (in Southwest Virginia) we hardly ever got unexpected snow days. I remember it was such a great feeling as you realized you could go back to bed, not deal with boring & annoying people and teachers, have a “free” day to yourself…the joy would literally swell up inside! But the area we lived in just wasn’t prone to snow. Sure, it had it’s fair share of good, plentiful snow “storms” but usually just a dusting (which did not stop everyone in town rushing to every grocery the day before to get the number 1 supplies required to survive a perilous snow storm: bread, milk, eggs, beer). Also not helping matters-I believe-was whoever made the final call on what the school would do. They must’ve been a Nazi from Florida because they didn’t want to close schools for anything. It was probably a woman…and she probably had 3-4 school-aged children at home. In that case I can’t say as I blame her. I remember one time, when I was in high school, and “they” (the ever reliable meteorologists) were expecting a big snow to come rolling in, and rolling in quickly. Nobody made any schedule changes & as we were arriving at school it was already flurrying. It didn’t take 2 hours for chaos to hit as they then decided we all needed to get home now and how to do it. Luckily I had my own car so I wasn’t stuck panicking with the saps who had to ride the bus…I had an awesome Geo Tracker so my boyfriend at the time (now my husband….yay for high school sweethearts!), myself, and a Friend of ours (who lived just down the street from me) piled in & headed for home. There was a steep hill you had to survive that made up the road my house sat on & it was slick! I can still remember my husband twisting the wheel accordingly & being in awe that even at his age (15…hey, *I* couldn’t drive in snow!) he knew what to do & handled the situation. Plus, our Friend was pregnant so that only added pressure! Anyways…I’m off topic. But who cares, eh? We made it & the memory makes me laugh.

The purpose of this blog was to post some pics I took this morning of our big snow that we received sometime between 2am & 6am.

I wanted to share with the world how incredibly lazy generous the “decision makers” are in our current area (Eastern Tennessee), by giving our children days off because of this:

Please notice how the road is not dry but clearly not slick. Clearly not snow covered. Granted, we do have to consider the whole county but I find it difficult to believe that somewhere in our county it was just sssooo bad that us stay-at-home-momma’s get to listen to the “Is it my turn to play the x-box yet?”-“I’m starving, can I have something to eat even though I just had cereal?’-“So & so won’t play with me/so & so is being mean to me/so & so called me names!” , like it’s an unexpected gift or something. Bah!

For those of you who have no snow: You lucky bastards.
For those of you who do have snow: May the force be with you.


Schooooooool’ssssss out…for…SUMMA!!

It totally snuck up on me.  I’ve had a lot on my mind lately & completely didn’t realize the end of school was upon us, until looking at the calendar one day & it was like “Oh, the last day of school is in 3 days.  Wait…whaaa??!”.  Anyway, now I’ve got all these random thoughts, tips & ideas floating through my head & taking up too much room.  So I figured well hell, why not blog about it?!  So here we go:
(This list may or may not evolve as I think up new crap…feel free to leave your own ideas in the comments!)

*Make ice cubes out of whatever non-carbonated drinks you have on hand, that way your drinks won’t get watered down in the summer heat yet will still be cold! For example: kool-aid cubes for kool-aid, lemonade cubes for lemonade, etc.

*Set up a lemonade stand & get your kids to “work” it.  It’ll teach them all kinds of great, valuable life lessons as well as earn them some summer spending money (plus 10% for yourself for raising them) & give them something to do to keep them out of your face for awhile. (PS: I have a great homemade recipe on this blog!)

*Water.  When it’s hot outside water is a great toy.  If you’re like us & don’t live somewhere that is flat enough for a cheap-o pool, give the kids water to play with.  Some people would worry it would run the water bill up too much but it really won’t & the few cents extra that it may cost will be worth it to keep those kids busy…trust me.  Invest in a slip & slide maybe.  Or water guns.  Or even just some water in one of those athletic type water bottles that you can squeeze & it streams out.  Hell, fill up a Rubbermaid tub & let them splash each other in the driveway.  Water amazes kids.

*Utilize your crock-pot & outdoor grill.  Grills are a summer staple but a lot of people tend to view crock-pots as being more of a winter time thing.  Not at all!  Using your crock-pot will save you time in the kitchen, therefore giving you more time with the family.  It will not turn your kitchen into a sauna, like the oven will.  Doesn’t suck a lot of electricity, which is important during the summer if you use central air & your bill is higher.

*At the risk of sounding like a Martha Stewart rip-off, try to plan 1-2 things to do with your kids every week.  It doesn’t necessarily have to be a craft, but summer is a great time to keep in tune with your kids…they’re not gone at school all day & quality time is extremely important.  Something as simple as a walk or weeding the flower bed together counts.

*Two words: MOVIE.  NIGHT.  We do movie night pretty much every Friday & Saturday during the school year, & then during summer it’s usually every night.  Sometimes we do family movie night (self-explanatory) & sometimes we send the kids off to their room(s) to do their own movie night.  A lot of times we pop popcorn (from the kernels!) & have other snacks.  It’s just a cool yet cost effective way to get the kids out of your face watch a movie.

*Go to the local library.  At the risk of sounding like a complete After School Special (remember those?!) I highly recommend the library.  It is free(!), they usually will have at least 1 free(!) summertime kids program/event, & nurturing a love of reading early on provides soooo many benefits I won’t bore you with them all here (just think on it a minute & you’ll see). 

*Invest in bug spray.  Lots of it.  I don’t know about you but bugs irritate the living shitballs out of me.  Also invest in some itch relief cream/gel, sunscreen (wear it/put it on the kids every sunny day!), sunburn relief & it wouldn’t hurt to grab one of those to-go “boo-boo” kits….places like Hellmart Wal-Mart used to have them for, like, 98¢ but they’re probably $4.99 nowadays.  You could probably just build your own from stuff you already have.

*PoPsIcLeS!!  Up until this year I was totally one of those popsicle Nazi’s that despised them because when it’s hot out (of course) they get everything within a 2 mile radius drippy & messy & sticky.  Blegh.  However I have seen the light!  You can get a box of 100 (I think) for $3.80 at Hellmart Wal-Mart, the childhood-reminiscent Pop Ice brand.  They taste great & there are lots of them & they’re basically frozen sugar water.  Sure the kids may get a little hyper but in my opinion it’s a fair trade off for a little extra mopping & a chunk of time that I don’t have to hear “I’m bored”.  I’ve even stepped my game up to letting my kids have more than 1 in a five minute period.  I mean hell…it’s not like they’re filling or something, like a T-bone.

*Cook-out time, bitches!  We love feeding people (must have 1/4 Italian in us) & having a cook-out is awesome.  It’s relaxing (well…more so then preparing a regular dinner), you can have friends/family over, you can keep the menu relatively cheap, and everyone can just hang out & enjoy summer….coated in bug spray of course.  If you don’t have a grill just grab a bag of charcoal & go to a local park & utilize one of their built in grills.  If you don’t have a lot of budget then decide on cheap stuff & split the grocery list with whoever is coming (who said you had to be the one to always provide everything?! Plus true friends/family should be more than happy to pitch in, in my opinion).  All in all it’s a good time & one of our favorite things.

*Chores.  As a stay at home Mom I keep a pretty usual, mundane schedule of daily crap to do.  The kids have one or two chores to do regularly but during the summer they get a couple extra.  Why?  Because they’re there & perfectly capable of helping out.  Because there are more dishes to wash, clothes to launder & mess to continually clean up.  Because they can earn money.  Because it teaches them responsibility.  Because they’re good kids & usually don’t mind helping out.

The joys of being a drunk 14 year old.

I’ve been inspired by juicy gossip a family mishap to post a blog on underage drinking.  Recently my niece (who blatantly cares nothing for me, or my immediate family, which as a side note is really sad because I truly enjoyed having a niece a few years ago-more family drama except on my husband’s side-and I miss having that in my life) was discovered to have some empty bottles of cheapo vodka hidden in what I’m sure she thought were strategic places in her room.  She also had a shot glass handily wrapped in her “delicates” drawer.

I’m not going to expand on all the different issues involved in this situation;  no, this post is designed more for the selfish reason of recording a few of my own teenage memories for the annals of history, just in case I ever become a smidgen as historically famous as Marie Antoinette (for instance) and the historians will need something to come back to and assist them with piecing together my daily life.  Hey, it could happen.

So my sister was telling me all the juicy details about this mishap (she is her step-mom by the way, so that compounds everything for both of them) & I started thinking later on about when I was this girl’s age (…the edge of seventeen) & actually earlier.  I had collected shot glasses & had them on display around my room.  I had 1 or 2 empty booze bottles just to round out the coolness factor, and a wine bottle with one of those drippy candles in it.  I hadn’t drank the alcoholic contents & I didn’t use the shot glasses.  Literally…decoration.
My room was decorated in this fashion for quite awhile, until I grew out of it. 

See?? I still do display them.

Then I started remembering one of my ballsiest schemes ever.  You have to know that I was not a very rebellious kid…at all.  I’m the first born/oldest so I understood it was my duty to go to school, stay out of trouble, get good grades, be a good example for my younger sister.  But I guess every kid has a little bit of rebel in them, and mine was to concoct a fabulous plan where my friends, boyfriend and I skipped school & stayed home drinking Budweiser all day.  I know, I know but hellfire…I was 14!  This was exciting shit.  So I kicked it off by convincing my mom I was too terribly sick for school.  Win!  She let me stay home, no questions asked because I was such a cunty goody two shoes good kid.  Then I called my friend, who was with her older boyfriend (aka the beer buyer) & I’m fuzzy on the details now but after my mom left for work everyone was supposed to meet at my place.  (I can’t remember if the beer buyer was just going to blatantly park in the driveway or across the street at the little kids school…probably the driveway)

Everyone came & it was time for phase 2 of the great plan-no celebrating yet!  Next we all had to call the school for each other to excuse our absences;  beat the school at their own game…before they could call our parents to see where we were, we’d provide them the answer!  Very common practice for kids missing school.  I don’t remember who did what (beer guy of course didn’t need anyone to call for him; might I just point out how questionable I’m finding this person nowadays looking back, that he so easily went along with a bunch of 14 year olds?!) but I did call & pretend to be my boyfriend’s grandma (his mom wasn’t around; I realize now it would’ve been better to have creepy beer guy be his dad)…the school totally bought it!  We were home free!  Able to lounge in my room, sip our Buds like kings & queens, & relive our success; my bf had brought along his dorky friend who was making us all laugh.  I assured my friends that my trusty canine would bark at the slightest notion of someone pulling in the driveway or opening the front door.

Yes, a whole book bag full. Leather book bag might I add.

So imagine the mild heart pounding heart attack I experienced when there was beating on my locked bedroom door.  Imagine the frozen looks of shock & bewilderment & “What the fucking hell do we do now?!” all over our faces.  Then chaos.  It didn’t sound like my mom but that was the only person it could be, right?  The dorky friend literally jumped into my closet & was peering out from between my clothes;  the rest of us started throwing the beers in a book bag then shoved them in the closet with him & closed the door.  Meanwhile my mom has started bellowing at me to open the G.D. door, so at least it confirmed it wasn’t an ax murderer who liked drunk teenagers.  Eventually I opened the door;  boy was she pissed.  White hot rage would best describe it.  She started threatening to throw creepy beer guy in jail so he hauled ass…I never…ever…saw him again.  My friend was a little sad but she ended up being a lesbian anyway so it probably didn’t matter much.  Then my mom announced to us that she would be taking us to school as we were.  Drunk.

On the way to school she revealed how it had all gone down: when I called as a grandmother, the nosy bitch office lady didn’t think the voice sounded old enough.  So she checked the absentee log & saw where my (real) mom had called in for me.  Apparently the school staff was stalking us because she then claimed she knew we were dating & thought something was fishy so she called my mom at work, filling her in on the whole thing.  Mom snuck home, didn’t shut her car door (she parked right outside my room by the way…I’m such a deaf idiot), & the dog betrayed me by greeting her when she came in, which I hadn’t considered, and therefore staying quiet.  So we get to the school & those ass clowns had called the cops!  To give us fucking breathalyzers.  Just to get us in trouble with the school too.  We all failed & then the Principal informed us that we were suspended in, like, 3 different ways…2 days out, varying days in.  Then for some reason we were told to go tell all of the teachers whose classes we were supposed to be in at the time.  I think that was just for the adults entertainment.  Either way it backfired because it gave us all the opportunity to show our friends that we really were drunk, therefore lending credibility to the rumors that would fly.  I have to admit that being able to brag that I came to school drunk & got a breathalyzer & then suspended did give me a little bit of a bad ass quality.  Then I went back home & probably fought with my mom for awhile before passing out.

So that’s my first real drinking story.  Unfortunately I can’t remember what my parents did to punish me, and my mom isn’t here to help me out.  Back then I never thought it would be a cherished memory…I felt like my life was over.  But I can only smile now, and be glad it’s part of my memory lane.  Do you have any stories from being a teenager??