I’ve been lost but I’ve (momentarily) found my way back…to WordPress anyway.
It’s terribly hard to pay your phone bill when you have no steady income, so I haven’t had the internet access people usually take for granted. On top of that, the internet/Wi-Fi at the house has been acting wonky…if the desktop had internet then the router wouldn’t & vice versa. I was finally able to straighten that out, so it all works together now, but the signal the router gets has been in & out for some reason the past few days.
You can’t win for losing, eh? More like ‘I’.
Hopefully everyone out there is doing well & enjoying nice weather. As for me, my life is still a jumbled, aggravating, lonely, heavy mess. I’ll spare you the details; at least in this post.
My clinical depression has come back swiftly & more intensely than before, when I was first diagnosed as a teen. The only thing(s) that saves me is my kids and I truly mean that. Dark thoughts are no laughing matter and the more you have the easier it seems to pull them off. I’m sure some of you know exactly what I’m talking about. I guess in one respect it’s a hidden blessing that I am broke right now, otherwise I’d have plenty of money to transform thoughts into actions.
Maybe I’m weird or selfish but it makes me so sad–to the point of tearing up–to think of not seeing my babies grow up, to not be there with them. So they really do save me; they’re handy for cheering me up daily & they’re also good at being annoying sometimes to help take my mind off of things (haha).
I feel bad about returning with such a depressing & dreary post but I had to clear my head a little….so, I’ll return you to your regularly scheduled programming after leaving you with a picture of this….
You’re welcome. 😉
PPS: yes, I still use the word retarded to describe ridiculous, silly, funny stuff. So don’t judge me. It’s stupid for some people to make such a big deal out of some words.