Tag Archives: cats

My cat is a trouble making whore.

I’m finally feeling much better–the incessant migraine is gone–and wanted to clean up the house before hubs gets home from working out of town.  (This is my usual agenda by the way; keep the house safe from being in a condemned state while he’s gone & then do a thorough cleaning the day he’s due home so that I look like the best wife ever.  And it totally works.).  I’ve been testing different crap I’ve found on Pinterest & some of these are actually turning out to work!!  One of which is floor cleaner.  I figured the pin was full of shit when it said “leaves your house smelling ahhmazing” (like what they did there with the “ahh”?) but I had all the stuff so I tried it anyway.  It does leave your house smelling “ahhmazing”: fresh, clean, no streaks, no chemical-y smell.  So I decided to make it my go-to floor cleaner except like a dumbass I didn’t write the recipe down in real life.  When I went to jot it down off of Pinterest it seems they’ve decided to disappear a few pins from my board & of course that was one of them.  I tried to access my sister’s-whom I’d originally gotten it from-and I was denied with a simple “Sorry”.  Apparently Pinterest has decided to fix something that wasn’t broken & now everything is all glitchy & retarded. 

Luckily I’m like a Google Jedi or something & I was able to find it via my super secret methods, which I would tell you if they weren’t super secret.  I’m sorry…please don’t stop reading my blog just because I can’t share them with you.  With my fiery anger at Pinterest subsiding I swept (which I will admit I almost didn’t do because I did it yesterday but then my ocd compelled me to) & made the floor cleaner (with the help of my sweet boy) & began mopping.  Everything was going as well as it possibly can when you’re breaking your back mopping when I noticed my cat on the table watching me.

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This is the cat. She is not as innocent as she looks.

No big deal, I keep mopping.  The next time I see her she has moved closer to a cup of water sitting there & I thought “I should probably move that; she’s going to knock it over with her big fat ass” but like an idiot I didn’t.  Then she starts batting at it…or dipping her paw in…either way she was messing with it & I told her to go on.  At this point I’m right beside the table but trying to finish mopping; I swear to God she looks directly into my eyes & then proceeds to swat the cup over, spilling water all over the floor.  Then I hollered “What the hell Baby Kitty?!”, smacked her on the top of the head, and she ran off. 

Granted, it was only water.  And I already had the mop out (yay for convenience).  What gets me is that she deliberately did it out of spite for no discernible reason.  All *I* did was say “Go on”.  She’s an evil devil cat I guess.  She also enjoys stabbing you randomly if you reach for something near her.  She’s docile & sweet but yet…dark.  We should’ve named her SweetTart or some shit.

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Plotting her next evil attack.
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Blogging vs. Me, Round 2

So I’m back–or trying to come back–a year after I started this blog then inadvertently abandoned it. I don’t know what it was that blocked me before, or made me lose interest, but I’m hoping to be slightly more dedicated this time around. Maybe it was because I didn’t (still don’t) have enough confidence in myself to just put it out there & keep on putting it out there. The astonishing fact that I didn’t become Blogger #1 overnight threw me for a loop (just kidding…a little) and combined with the fact that I never got any likes or comments (except Misti bless her heart; and more recently my sister) it just kind of fizzled out for me, leaving me with the question of “What’s the point if no one is reading this crap?!” Well…the point is it’s a way for me to clear my head, and maybe my heart & just be able to decompress somewhere. My husband, my sister, my BFF, my cat (Mr. Biddles) are probably pretty tired of me beating my dead horses every day. The point is someday someone may read my random garble & it’ll help them…or inspire them…or inform them…or totally piss them off…but then I’d probably get a comment so it’d be worth it! The point is that isn’t a blog all about that very thing: people pouring forth their thoughts, opinions, ramblings, ideas, whatever into the blogosphere for other people to read?? So then the point becomes don’t I have as much right as all of the other blogging people to blog till my heart is content?? Damn right I do. If the unimaginable happens and people stumble upon my blog and don’t like what they read then they’re free to move on. Honestly I can’t see that happening because obviously people would be captivated by my dry witty sarcasm & electronic sparkle. But I want people to know that my blog won’t hold them hostage or anything. So here I go. I have no idea what I’m going to write about; I have no idea what people want to read about; I have no idea if anyone will ever even read my posts. But I’m here in the cozy, calm blogosphere & I’m gonna figure it out. I mean hell, I just wrote this whole thing while watching Bates Motel. Shit…I just realized I couldn’t pay attention so now I have to watch it again.

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(Mr. Biddles–he no likes tiaras.)