Easter has come and gone, and I’m relieved. When the hell did Easter turn into a spring Christmas extravaganza?? I don’t know if it was my dread of having to spend money or the ever continuing after effects of losing my mom or just plain laziness but I could not get in the holiday spirit this year. Sure we made some homemade Pinterest crafts to decorate with a little but we didn’t even bother getting our other decorations out. We didn’t even get the kids’ baskets out of the closet until “Easter eve”!
When I was a kid our Easter tradition was to go to my nanny’s, along with my aunt, uncle & 2 cousins. I remember it being so cozy & exciting & fun…all of us getting together, catching up, dyeing eggs, watching TV, the kids being silly, squeezing in quality time with my nanny…the feelings & smells (eggs boiling, Easter dinner prep, my nanny’s house) & memories I have are hard to put into words. Family time. Togetherness. Relaxation. I loved it and now I miss it so so much. First, in 2008, my nanny died. And it felt like that threw so many things into chaos, including holiday traditions. What do we do now? Since my husband, kids & I had moved in to help care for her, we were still living in her house. So our first Thanksgiving without her consisted of us & my mom at this huge dining room table where countless Easter & Thanksgiving dinners had held court. It was completely different yet eerie remnants of familiarity remained. Then, we didn’t even get another Easter with my mom because she passed away the following February. It rocked my world & still does to this day.
I had thought maybe my aunt would take over the family get together responsibilities but she didn’t, except for once when we had it at her house because we were staying there for awhile. Essentially, after losing my nanny & mom, the responsibility fell to me. Which I have mixed feelings about…on one hand I love it because I’m a control freak & it makes me feel special to reign our family in and force quality togetherness down their gullets. But on the other hand…I constantly question if I’m doing things the right way (aka the way it’s always been done in our family), I question choices that my mom would’ve made, and I miss them & the old traditions so terribly bad it gives me a lump in my throat. I feel like a total let down in the Holiday Manager department, yet just like the whole birth right storyline in the Lion King it’s as if it’s fallen to me to do it.
This post was totally depressing. And I can’t decipher an actual point. It’s more of a deluge of words & feelings. Thanks for listening.
As your reward, here are some Easter pictures of my amazing family. Hope you & yours had a good holiday!
PS~ We had my sister & her family (husband & 2 kids) over for egg dyeing & easter dinner, I was just so busy I didn’t get a chance to take any pics. Boo! But that is our new tradition, 2 (maybe 3??) years running & I’m so grateful for it.
There’s nothing better than family.