Hypochondriac I am not.

I always have headaches.  Big ones, small ones, it doesn’t matter; I literally have a headache every day.  I can’t remember what life was like before I started having headaches all damn day every damn day.  I truly envy the people who pop out of bed in the morning & say “Oop, I have a headache this morning! Let me take 2 Tylenol so it’ll go away”…and then a short while later it does. I have to take various combinations of OTC pain relievers depending on the headache. Most days start of with 1 BC powder followed by a couple tension headache pills a couple hours later. Then usually another BC (or 2) in the afternoon, followed by more pills. And yet my headaches are never completely gone…just dulled a little if I’m lucky.

That’s kind of why the past few days have started to concern me. I know the type of headaches I get. But for the past 4 days I have had the worst headache of my life. (Except for maybe that time I crashed into a tree in my Tracker when I was 17 because I was trying to prove how cool I was by going “mudding” when I didn’t know jack shit about it.). Nothing–and I mean NOTHING–has helped my head. I noticed this morning that it’s spreading (?) into my neck now; my neck is stiff & it’s painful to move my head around. If the neck pain had accompanied the migraine from the beginning I’d be more apt to think it was from sleeping on it wrong or whatever but it didn’t and it’s been 4 days. So of course the logical thing to do is get on Google & see what kinds of terrible things I can pull up to scare the shit out of myself. The first thing I clicked on was about meningitis, which I had thought was eradicated in the early 1900’s, because a symptom of meningitis is a migraine with neck pain (also: fever [no], rash [no], sensitivity to light & sound [YES; isn’t that included under ‘migraine’ though??], confusion in your thinking [well hell that’s all the time!]) and some other junk that I can’t remember right now. Anyway, meningitis is basically an infection in your brain stem, hence the neck pain. If left untreated it pretty much turns your brain to mush & murders you.

So I guess the question now is “Well dummy: if you think it may be something serious why aren’t you taking your ass to an ER somewhere??”. To which the answer(s) is this: I don’t want to go & tell them what’s wrong only to have it turn out to be a really bad migraine & then they’re either looking at me like I’m stupid or like I’m a pillhead looking for a handout. Which is probably a little paranoid of me but then again probably not because last summer I got heat exhaustion & dehydrated and passed out cold in my drive way which in turn broke my damn face. For real fractured my left cheekbone. Skip some of the story, I get to the hospital in so much pain I can not even think & of course since I’m conscious they’re asking me all these questions. Uh hello–my fucking face is broken & swollen & it’s unbelievably painful to talk! Where’s the fucking morphine at??! Which is not what I said of course because I needed them to help me, but I ended up laying there for 2 hours before they gave me anything at all for pain. When I was quite clearly in pain. I mean if a broken bloody face doesn’t convince ya then I don’t know what will. So that’s why I feel like they’d look at me like that; it seems like all the ER’s & Dr.’s are tightening their belts around the medicine cabinets because of the rise in addicts & I totally get that but at the same time it’s having more than one negative impact on regular ole people like me.

I don’t know…wait it out a couple more days I guess…see what happens. But if I do end up having meningitis I get to say “I told ya so!” 😛

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